Guide to Using Sex Toys in a Relationship
Are you still of the belief that sex toys are for self-pleasure or masturbation? I hate to tell you this, but you’re wrong! In the past sex toys would be a totally taboo topic that no one would ever talk about with others. You’d hide your one sex toy in the back of your drawer or under the bed hoping that no one would find it.
But as we move into a more pleasure-and-sex positive society, you can breathe a sigh of relief. Using sex toys in a relationship is a great way to enhance the pleasure of you and your partner. Of course, if this is new territory for you, it might be a little intimidating to get started.
Buying that first sex toy to use with your partner (or maybe your first sex toy ever?) might make you feel a little uncomfortable, but hey, you’re in luck because you can easily shop online! Imagine how much more intimidating it would have been to not be able to buy your first sex toy from the comfort of your own home and instead have to walk into a sex shop?
You’ve got it easy when you think of it that way! Plus, once you start to experience all the benefits of using sex toys with your partner, you’ll likely be adding more to your collection with excitement instead of anxiety.
Can sex toys hurt a relationship?
Since there’s still that lingering feeling among many people that sex toys are for when you’re alone, it can be natural to wonder if sex toys can hurt your relationship. However, it’s a common misconception that a vibrator replaces your partner, or that it means your partner isn’t doing a good job.
Bringing sex toys into the bedroom does not mean that you’re unsatisfied or unhappy with your partner or your sex life! It simply means you want to try new things together and possibly find other exciting ways to pleasure each other.
Look at it this way, just because you and your partner want to try the new Thai restaurant down the street doesn’t mean the pizza place you usually go to on Friday night doesn’t serve good food. You just want to try something different and that’s totally ok!
How can sex toys improve a relationship?
Not only do sex toys not negatively impact relationships, in many cases using sex toys in a relationship can truly improve that relationship!
Allows for communication
If you’ve been a bit shy about what you want in the bedroom then picking out sex toys can help you be a bit more vocal. If you take the time to shop together, browsing through the different sex toys with your partner can help you ease into the subject instead of trying to figure out how to bring it into normal conversation.
Takes the pressure off
There are a lot of women who find it hard to orgasm and there are a lot of men who suffer from performance anxiety. These are just a couple of common issues that couples face in the bedroom. But when you bring sex toys into the equation it can truly help take the pressure off so you can truly focus on pleasure and each other instead of feeling self-conscious.
Help get you out of a rut
Sometimes you find yourself in a sex rut. It’s pretty normal when in a long term relationship. One or both of you are bored or you find yourself doing the same old thing every time you have sex. Adding a new sex toy can help you get a little more creative so it’s not the same old thing day after day.
Using sex toys in a relationship will undoubtedly lead to better sex. It can add energy and excitement to your sex life, lengthen foreplay, and even make the build-up more intense.
How can I approach my partner about wanting to use sex toys?
If you’ve been wanting to try out sex toys with your partner, you might be wondering how to bring it up so that you can start using them together. But there are some important things to keep in mind.
The first thing you want to avoid is taking your partner by surprise. Unless you are 100% certain that it will be received well then it’s best to avoid putting them on the spot by whipping out a new sex toy in the middle of sex.
Bringing up your interest in trying out sex toys casually, when you’re not in the heat of the moment, is the best way to approach it. Be open to the conversation and don’t pressure your partner. Take a moment to gauge how you think they’re receiving the information and if they truly seem excited or curious or if they seem apprehensive.
If you agree to try using sex toys in your relationship then try shopping together or at least talking about what you do and don’t want to try out first. It’s ok to take it slow and see how you like it, you don’t have to jump in with both feet.